You may not remember the first time you said the word "dad.
"It may be something recorded in those cute baby books, but it may not be a big deal in your adult life.
But when you grow up without a father, it's a big life event to choose to find "him" and put him a name worthy of your love.
The day I called my biological father, Bruce sundelen, "dad" first made a deep impression in my mind, with my wedding and the birth of the child, the "always keep" part of my brain is also recorded.
I am a loving child of the current governor of Rhode Island, which means that the media has provided me with a lot of photos of my new "dad" and finally welcomed me into his life on national television.
He asked me to move into his Manor on the famous cliff trail so we could "get to know each other.
"I was thrilled to have the chance to get to know my other half, but I didn't know what to call him.
Bruce seems to be wrong, the governor is too formal, and I think he needs to win the title of his father, so I just avoid calling him.
After the first time of the year together, he began to feel more like a "dad", but actually calling him seemed to make me faint.
I must be ready for it.
I planned a day and I would call him dad as if someone had planned to propose.
I decided that our big day would be our first real Father's Day.
I wrote an unforgettable day in my new memoir "looking for dad: from" love "kids to daughters.
Here is an excerpt: as our first year of college approaches, we will have our first real Father's Day.
In the year before I knew my father less than a week, I gave him a basic card.
It makes sense this time. A lot, in fact.
So I wanted to give him something special to understand that I knew he was working on it.
In the past year of knowing my father, I avoided calling him because it was not appropriate to call him.
Al Pontarelli, a state police officer, has been making fun of me.
"When are you going to start calling him dad? ""In time.
He has to make money.
"The truth is, I think my father has proven himself in the first year of the transition, and I want to call him dad, but I can't say that yet.
I felt it was supposed to be a special occasion, so I decided to buy him something to commemorate the big shift after a trip to the mall and I bought a redwood memory box.
I know my father likes to keep things and I think it will be the perfect safe for our future souvenirs.
I went to the memory store and carved a gold metal plaque in all capital letters with the father's name on it and the following on June 20, 1994.
I moved back to Rhode Island for the summer and decided to give it to him personally on Father's Day.
When I gave him the heavy gift to open it.
He tore off the wrapping paper and removed the smooth mahogany box from the package.
I was moved by the way he used his finger to track the letters on the plaque.
This is beautiful, Kara.
"This is a memory box for special things, such as My Father's Day card.
"Very good, very, very good," he said, not sure exactly what to say.
This is a person who is not used to expressing feelings, and I seem to be forcibly solving this problem every time.
Be as good to him as I am. "Mrs.
Schuster, let's see what Kara bought me on Father's Day. " (Mrs.
Schuster is his housekeeper)
I began to notice that it was easier for him to express his feelings in the third person.
"Isn't that good?
He said, and moved his fingers on the carving.
"Oh, wow, governor, it's beautiful and special," she looked at me and knew it was a big deal.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it. . . Dad.
"I feel my face is warm.
We embrace together and I can feel his gratitude in my heart.
Although he didn't say much, I looked at him and looked at the word dad with his eyes wide open.
"Thank you Kara, it's such a wonderful gift. Really --
Thank you very much.
"After putting the box on his lap for a long time, he carefully placed it in a prominent position on the study coffee table.
We ended Father's Day with some of our favorite Oreos and milk, and I snuggled in the corner of his arm, immersed in the warmth and safety of eating cookies with dad.
I was the only kid in town who shared the day, and I finally found what I had been missing in my life, which seemed representative.
When I gave the "daddy" box to my father, I was excited to see the police Al Pontarelli so that I could call my father in front of him.
When he came to pick up my father for work, I showed him the box, and now the box is a solid symbol of a new phase of our relationship.
"Good Girl," he said.
Dad and I made a big Father together.
He made mistakes and didn't always do special things for my brothers, but on every special occasion I taught him how to express his heart.
When I taught him how he needed to be loved, he also learned how to express love to my brothers.
Over time, I think he tried to make up for his mistake by playing Tracy's game, doing business with Stewart or taking Hunter, and Peter's son went to see B-
When it came to town.
I know he is as hard on himself as others, and he needs to feel unconditional love before he feels safe enough to open his heart.
Somehow my key succeeded.
I opened up part of what he needed to find, and at the same time found my real identity in the process.
I will continue to spend 17 father days with my dad.
I hope there will be hundreds more.
I understand that forgiveness is a tunnel of love. Dad's title is not just a name.
Today, when I looked at my two children with my wonderful husband, I was so grateful that they had what I was looking.